Learning outcome: Acknowledge a parent's distress without agreeing that the parent caused the child's difficulty. This OET Speech Pathology Speaking lesson uses childhood stammering to practise clear explanations, sensitive questioning and practical support. It includes paired five-task role cards, detailed condition teaching, task coaching, an extended therapist model, phrase choices and a changed-answer exercise.
Source and purpose: The teaching theme draws on the childhood-stammering parent consultation in Set 3 of Jobins Training's OET Speaking for Speech Pathologists: Clinical Fluency Through Role-Play and Course 1's fluency and parent-counselling material. The family, cards and model below are original learning examples, not official examination cards. The model is extended to show reasoning and listening points; it is not a script to recite uninterrupted.
1. Original paired role cards: “Did I cause this?”
Speech and language therapist card
Setting: An initial parent consultation in a community children's service.
Situation: Amir Khan is worried about his three-year-old daughter, Leila. During the past month, he has noticed repeated sounds and occasions when a word seems difficult to start. He recently changed his working hours and often feels rushed during the evening routine. He wonders whether he caused Leila's stammering. No individual fluency assessment has yet been completed, and no treatment schedule or outcome has been established. Your purpose is to understand his observations, address his concern and explain appropriate support and next steps.
- Invite Amir to explain his main concern and acknowledge the feeling behind his self-blame without endorsing it.
- Ask for examples of Leila's speech, the pattern over time and her response, including any distress or reluctance to communicate.
- Explain developmental stammering in plain language, distinguish possible variation from parental causation and avoid predicting Leila's individual outcome.
- Discuss a manageable way to make conversation supportive, clarifying that helpful changes do not mean the parent caused the stammering.
- Explain how to seek assessment and support without imposing an arbitrary waiting period; agree a next step and check understanding.
Parent card
Setting: A first discussion with a speech and language therapist about your child.
Situation: You are Amir, father of Leila, aged three. Over the past month she has sometimes repeated the beginning of a word or looked as though she is trying to start a word. It varies: yesterday she told a long story with little difficulty, while this morning several words were difficult. You recently changed your working hours, and bedtime can feel rushed. You believe you may have caused the problem. In this first attempt, Leila continues to initiate conversations and has not told you she wants to avoid talking.
- Say, “I think this is my fault because I am always rushing her in the evening.”
- Give an example of repeated sounds and a difficult start to a word, and explain that the amount varies.
- Ask whether one fluent afternoon means the problem has gone and whether she will definitely grow out of it.
- Ask whether you should tell her to slow down and repeat the sentence properly, then request one approach that fits your evening routine.
- Ask whether you must wait six months before seeking help, and explain back what you understand about blame, support and assessment.
Partner instruction: If the therapist says “Don't feel guilty” and immediately changes the subject, explain that you still think the change in your work pattern caused the stammer. If the therapist suggests changing the conversation pace, ask why that helps if your behaviour was not the cause. This is the key distinction the learner must explain.
2. Understand childhood stammering before giving reassurance
What the parent may be describing
Stammering, also called stuttering, can involve repeating sounds or syllables, stretching a sound, or finding that a word will not come out. It may vary between situations and over time. A child can have an easier period of speaking and still experience difficulty at other times. Ask what the parent actually notices rather than treating every hesitation as identical.
In this exercise, Amir's description is information for assessment. You can explain the general features of stammering while making clear that Leila's needs have not yet been assessed individually. Avoid diagnosing severity from one imitation or deciding that the difficulty is trivial because she was fluent yesterday.
Parenting does not cause developmental stammering
The parent's feeling of responsibility deserves attention, but the feeling is not evidence of causation. Developmental stammering is not caused by something a parent has done. Its development is complex and can involve inherited and developmental factors. You do not need to identify a single cause in Leila's case in order to correct the idea that Amir's evening routine is to blame.
This is different from denying the parent's observation. He may accurately have noticed that some conversations are harder when the household is busy. A pattern in a setting can inform support without proving that the setting created the condition. Keep those two questions separate: “What seems to make talking easier or harder?” and “What caused the stammering?”
Support can help without assigning blame
There is no contradiction between reassuring Amir about blame and discussing ways to make conversation less pressured. A supportive response can make it easier for a child to take a turn and feel listened to. It does not mean that the parent created the stammer or has a duty to make every sentence fluent. Explain this distinction explicitly because a guilty parent may otherwise hear each suggestion as a criticism.
For example, giving a child time to finish is a way of supporting the conversation that is happening now. It is not an admission that previous interruptions caused a speech condition. In your teaching explanation, focus on the purpose of the action and the experience of being heard, rather than promising that the action will eliminate stammering.
Advice should value the message
Supportive communication can include listening to what the child wants to say, leaving pauses and allowing turns. Repeated instructions to slow down, take a breath or say a sentence correctly can place extra attention on how the child speaks. A parent may have used these instructions with good intentions. Explain an alternative without shaming them for trying to help.
A child who stammers still has stories, questions, jokes and preferences worth hearing. Successful communication is broader than fluency. Avoid presenting the child as successful only on days with fewer stammers. A useful aim in this exercise is that Leila can finish telling her father about something she enjoys and know that he is interested.
Seek advice when there is concern
Parents can seek advice when worried about a child's speech; they do not need to wait for an arbitrary six-month threshold. A GP, health visitor or local children's speech and language therapy service can explain the appropriate route. Assessment considers the individual picture, including the child's experience, and helps guide support. A request for advice does not commit the family to a particular treatment programme.
Some children's stammering changes as they grow, while others continue to stammer. Do not turn a population-level tendency into a promise about Leila. It is possible to offer a constructive next step without predicting whether, when or how completely her speech will change.
Clinical background checked against NHS stammering guidance, Oxford Health NHS information about childhood stammering and STAMMA guidance on talking with a child who stammers. These sources inform the clinical boundaries; the family and teaching exercises here are original.
3. Task coaching: respond to the feeling and the belief separately
Task 1: Hear the self-blame before correcting it
Acknowledge what Amir is carrying: “You have been worrying that your change in routine harmed her speech.” This reflects his belief without confirming that it is true. Then state the relevant fact clearly. Do not leave the correction so vague that he hears only “Try not to worry.” A specific concern deserves a specific answer.
Compare two responses. “Yes, rushed evenings can cause problems” may reinforce the very belief you need to correct. “It sounds as though you have been blaming yourself; developmental stammering is not caused by parents” acknowledges the distress and separates it from causation. Leave a pause after this distinction so he can ask the obvious follow-up question.
Task 2: Ask about the child's experience, not only the sound
Ask for a recent example, when it began and whether the pattern varies. Then ask how Leila responds. Does she continue her story, seem frustrated, or avoid a situation? These are different aspects of the experience. Do not assume that the parent's distress is identical to the child's, or that a child who continues talking never needs support.
Use one question at a time. “When did it start, how often does it happen, is there a family history, and does she get upset?” is difficult to answer reliably. Begin with the account, then clarify the details that matter. Explain the purpose if the parent worries that your questions are a search for something they did wrong.
Task 3: Explain variation without dismissing the concern
When Amir mentions a fluent afternoon, acknowledge it as part of the history. Explain that variation can occur and that one easier period does not establish what will happen next. Do not make the parent feel that an observation has been ignored merely because it does not settle the question.
If he asks, “Will she definitely grow out of it?”, answer directly and sensitively. You cannot make that promise. Then explain what can be done now: understand her experience, seek suitable assessment and support enjoyable communication. An honest limit is more useful when it is followed by a meaningful action.
Task 4: Make one change possible within the real routine
Ask what already happens in the evening. Perhaps Leila likes telling a story while choosing a bedtime book. Suggest focusing on listening, using a less hurried pace yourself and leaving space for her turn. Do not impose a long daily training schedule on a parent who has just explained that evenings are difficult.
Check how the suggestion was understood. If Amir says, “So if I slow everything down, I can make her stop stammering,” return to the purpose. The aim is a supportive conversation, not a guarantee of fluent speech. Avoid turning every family interaction into therapy or presenting an unassessed programme as the correct treatment.
Task 5: Clarify the next step and remove the invented deadline
Explain the local route for advice and assessment. If no appointment has been made, do not announce one. If the parent's question is whether he is allowed to seek help now, answer that before describing possible therapy. A clear explanation of the next action can reduce uncertainty without promising speed or outcome.
Invite Amir to explain two ideas in his own words: why a supportive change is not an admission of blame, and what he will do next about assessment. This checks the most important distinctions in the conversation. End with room for a concern you have not yet addressed, rather than a hurried reassurance that everything will be fine.
4. Extended therapist-viewpoint model with listening pauses
Teaching use: Read the model in sections. The therapist's spoken contribution appears below; bracketed cues show where the parent answers. In practice, shorten or adapt the next section according to what the parent says. Do not use the model to fill every pause.
“Hello, Amir. I'm the speech and language therapist. Thank you for coming to talk about Leila. What has been worrying you most about her speech?”
[Pause for his belief that rushing the evening routine caused the stammering.]
“You have been linking it to the change in your working hours and wondering whether you caused it. That sounds like a heavy worry to carry. Developmental stammering is not caused by something a parent has done. I would like to understand what you have noticed and how Leila feels about talking, so we can discuss useful support.”
[Allow a response before asking for more history.]
“Could you describe a recent example? What did you hear or see when the word was difficult?”
[Listen for repeated sounds and difficulty starting a word.]
“Thank you. When did you first notice that? And has it been similar throughout the month, or does it vary?”
[Pause for the fluent afternoon and more difficult morning.]
“So it has not been the same every day. Yesterday she told you a story with little difficulty, and this morning some words were harder to start. That variation is useful to know. How does she respond when it happens? Does she carry on, or have you noticed frustration or a reluctance to speak?”
[In this attempt, he says that she still starts conversations and enjoys telling stories. Use the actual answer rather than assuming distress.]
“It is helpful to hear that she is still keen to share things with you. That does not make your concern unimportant. We want to understand both how her speech is going and how she feels about communicating.”
“Would it help if I explained what we mean by stammering? It can include repeating a sound, stretching it, or finding that a word feels stuck. It can change from one situation or day to another. An easier afternoon does not tell us for certain what will happen next, so we consider the broader pattern.”
[Pause for his question about growing out of it.]
“I understand why you want a definite answer. I cannot promise whether or when Leila's stammering will stop. Children have different experiences. What we can do is seek an individual assessment and help her feel listened to and comfortable taking part in conversations.”
[Listen for his question about telling her to slow down or repeat correctly.]
“You have been trying to help when a word is difficult. Instead of asking her to produce it correctly, you can show that you are interested in what she is telling you and that she has time. Let her finish her message without making the conversation a test. You can make your own pace a little less hurried and leave a pause.”
[Pause for the likely question: if changing the conversation helps, did the parent cause the problem?]
“That is an important distinction. Making a conversation more supportive does not mean you caused the stammering. We are looking at what can help her experience of talking now. It is not your responsibility to make every sentence fluent, and a day with more stammering does not mean you have failed.”
“What part of the evening do you and Leila already enjoy together? We can start with something that fits your routine rather than adding a long list of activities.”
[For example, he describes choosing a bedtime book and hearing about her day.]
“That sounds like a useful moment to build on. You might give her room to tell you about the picture or her day, listen to the message, and avoid putting several questions together. If a word takes time, stay with her story. How would that feel within your usual evening?”
[Explore practical difficulties and adapt the suggestion.]
“You asked whether you must wait six months before getting help. No, you can seek advice when you are concerned. We can clarify the assessment route through the local children's speech and language service, or your GP or health visitor can help with that. I do not have a confirmed appointment date to give you today.”
“The next step is to understand Leila's individual needs and agree suitable support. That may include guidance for the adults around her, but we should not assume a particular treatment programme before assessment. Is your main practical concern how to contact the service, or what the assessment might involve?”
[Answer the question actually asked, and identify any arrangement that needs confirming.]
“Before we finish, could you tell me what you are taking away about your own role? I want to make sure that suggesting supportive changes has not left you feeling responsible for causing this. Then let's confirm the next step you will take and anything you still want to ask.”
What to notice: The model does not avoid the parent's guilt, but it also does not make guilt the whole consultation. It gathers the child's experience, explains the difference between cause and support, and gives a practical route forward. The therapist stays honest about assessment, timing and individual outcome.
5. Useful sentences: acknowledge without confirming blame
- “You have been wondering whether…” Reflects a belief as the parent's belief, not as an established fact.
- “That sounds like a difficult worry to carry.” Acknowledges the emotional burden without endorsing the explanation.
- “A supportive change does not mean you caused the difficulty.” Makes the central distinction explicit.
- “What have you noticed about how she feels?” Brings the child's experience into a conversation dominated by adult worry.
- “An easier day is useful information, but it does not predict every day.” Recognises variation without dismissing it or promising an outcome.
- “What would fit into a routine you already enjoy?” Makes advice realistic and collaborative.
- “You can seek advice now; we do not need to wait for that deadline.” Corrects an unnecessary barrier to support.
Speaking tip: do not turn reassurance into an argument
If Amir repeats “But I am sure it was my fault,” repeating “No, it wasn't” more loudly is unlikely to resolve the worry. Ask what makes the connection feel convincing, acknowledge the timing he noticed, and explain why happening after a change does not establish that the change caused the stammer. Then check whether the distinction makes sense.
Speaking tip: avoid making a child sound like a project
Use language about participation, comfort and being heard alongside any discussion of fluency. “We want her to feel able to share her story” gives the family a meaningful aim. “We need to remove every stammer” makes an outcome promise and can suggest that speaking with a stammer is unacceptable. The child remains worth listening to throughout the process.
6. Common mistakes and practical repairs
Mistake: “Your anxiety is making her stammer.” This assigns blame and confuses an influence on a situation with the cause of a condition. Repair it by explaining that parenting does not cause developmental stammering and by discussing the purpose of supportive interaction.
Mistake: “She will definitely grow out of it.” This converts uncertainty into a promise. Acknowledge the parent's hope, explain that individual outcomes vary, and describe what assessment and support can offer now.
Mistake: dismissing a concern because it started recently. Duration is useful history, but it should not become an invented rule that families must wait before seeking advice. Ask about the pattern and the child's experience.
Mistake: “Tell her to slow down and start again.” This can make the child focus on correcting the performance. Explain an alternative that leaves time for the message and avoids repeated instructions during the attempt to speak.
Mistake: giving a long home programme without assessment. The card does not establish which therapy is appropriate. Offer a manageable communication approach and explain the route to individual advice.
Mistake: listening only for fluent words. A child may communicate successfully while stammering. Ask whether the message was heard and whether the child felt able to participate, as well as noting any difficulty.
7. Second attempt: Leila is now avoiding a conversation
Repeat the consultation, replacing the first attempt's report that Leila remains keen to talk. Amir now says: “At a family gathering, someone laughed when she got stuck. Since then she says she does not want to tell her story when everyone is there. I feel I should have protected her.” Do not assume that this explains the onset of her stammering or that the family member intended harm.
Your task: Acknowledge the upsetting event, ask what Leila has said and what has changed, and explain why her participation and feelings need attention. Discuss a supportive response with the parent and appropriate speech and language advice. Do not repeat the earlier reassurance that she is still happily initiating every conversation.
Open the reasoning and a possible response
“That sounds upsetting for both of you. What has Leila said about that moment, and where is she now avoiding talking? We need to take that change seriously. It does not mean you caused her stammering. We can think about helping the adults around her respond respectfully and making sure she has space to communicate, while seeking advice about her individual needs.”
The new issue is the child's experience of a social response and subsequent avoidance. The therapist should explore it and adapt the plan, rather than promise that ignoring the event will make it disappear. Support should not require Leila to demonstrate fluent speech before she is included.
A focused review of your two attempts
Find the sentence in which you separated empathy from agreement with blame. Then identify the question that brought Leila's own experience into the discussion. Finally, compare your response to the second card: did you change the plan when participation changed? These checks are more useful than counting how many reassuring phrases you used.
Continue with OET Speaking for Speech Pathologists — Course 1. Choose one practice target for your next role play: respond to self-blame accurately, explain the purpose of support, or use the child's reported experience to guide the next question.
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OET Speaking for Speech Pathologists — Course 1
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Source: 55 OET SP Speech pathology.epub, Jobins Training. Examples labelled original or illustrative were written for this article. Independent exam preparation; no affiliation with or endorsement by the examining body. Practice does not predict an official score.